Joy as a State of Being
By Moyo Adenmosun.
Every so often, I find myself reflecting on the two most defining periods in my career so far. The first circa 2018 is what I call my ‘Gap Year of Circumstance’ and the second most defining period I refer to as; ‘The Great Career Heartbreak of 2024’.
What is shared between these two most defining periods in my career is that they were both characterised by a deep sense of uncertainty and fear about the future.
What differs are the details and the learnings I took with me. For instance, in my gap year of circumstance, I was forced to learn how to detach my sense of worth from my achievements whereas, the Great Career Heartbreak, taught me how to look failure in the face, feel the fear and not back down.
In one instance, I felt like I was forced to learn from the hand life and career dealt me. In the other, I viewed my learning as something of great value to who I was becoming.
If you asked me what changed, I would consider age and experience, then I would think to myself that those things alone do not always result in an inevitable change in perspective or worldview. I would consider your question further and then say that what changed was that I stepped into joy as a state of being.
What do I mean by this?
I am going to reclaim a long used literary device to explain ‘joy as a state of being’. I am to explain what it is not and what it is.
Firstly, Joy as a state of being does not reject nor turn a blind eye to reality.
Joy as a state of being does not pretend about the inner realities such as fear or the external realities like uncertainty. Rather, it insists on its right to stand alongside those very present conditions and emotions. It is not the minimisation and dismissal that comes with toxic positivity. This means we can allow joy to take up the space it needs as we can cry and recognise what is wrong or unfair about our circumstance.
Secondly, Joy as a state of being is not a performance for others.
Joy as a state of being is not the facade of putting on a brave face for others. It is not posturing or needing to be seen by others as ‘unaffected’. It is not curated. How we are perceived is far down on the list of things that joy as a state of being concerns itself with. I would go as far as saying that the test of joy as a state of being is in its existence in our quiet and aloneness.
Finally, Joy as a state of being is a practice.
I consider one of the beauties of humanity is that we have such diverse and varied inner worlds; expressed as different interests, inclinations, desires and so on. Therefore, if joy as a state of being is a practice, the practice will be diverse and varied, in line with the architecture of our inner worlds.
I will share what the practice of joy as a state of being in line with my inner architecture looks like. Perhaps it might be of use to you.
I do three things; I remember. I delight and I dream.
On remembering. I like to sit and think of all the ways in which I have been a recipient of the goodness and generosity of others – especially in the small ways. I replay those moments continuously, basking in it, committing it to memory. This means that the feelings of joy that are evoked not just in the moment of receiving but again and again. I remember and as a result, I exist in a state of joy that extends beyond a moment in time.
I default to what brings me delight in the present. A few months ago, I completed the Values Bridge Assessment which I would highly recommend. One of my core values was Eudemonia, reflecting my answer to the question
‘How much do I want my life to be organized around experiences that bring me pleasure and joy?’
One might read the word ‘experiences’ and think of activities that require time, money and effort. But I beg to differ. I live it in joy being embedded in the mundanities of my day-to-day life. Read as I default – which is a different thing to prioritising – to doing things that bring me pleasure regardless of how small or random it is. For instance, there is a particular shade of blue ink, I find very beautiful to look at. On a typical day, I can draw on many moments where I could complete the sentence, ‘it brings me pleasure to do X, so I do X’. From the outside in, what looks like just another day is one filled with many micro-bursts of pleasure in deep alignment with my inner architecture, so much so that joy becomes a state of being.
Joy as a state of being is defaulting to the things specific to your inner architecture, that brings delight.
I dream about the future. I believe the future contains a multitude that we don’t even know to imagine today; admittedly for good and for bad. My active imagination as a child means I lean towards being a dreamer as an adult. I try very hard to let my imagination roam freely without constraints because for one, it feels good. But more importantly, it expands my mind and ambition to the degree I allow it to. I believe joy as a state of being is learning to be/being a dreamer and just as importantly a doer. For then, those dreams become the asymptote towards which one strives. I posit that this is one way of finding a sense of purpose regardless of circumstance.
And in the purpose of working towards dreams that are bigger than ourselves, in alignment with our inner worlds and knowledge that the future contains possibilities we don’t even know to imagine, joy becomes a state of being.